Cowboy Philosophy

Cowboy philosophy is practical and common sense. The trouble with common sense is that it ain't so common these days...

Not sure where these bits of wisdom came from -- I got most of ‘em from a poster on a wall in a cowboy cafe somewhere where I was tryin' to talk a waitress out of a free meal.  It took awhile, so I had plenty of time to see what was on the walls…

1. Fences should be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.

2. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

3. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

4. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

5. Words that soak into your ears are whispered not yelled.

6. Manners don’t just happen overnight.

7. Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

8. Do not corner something you know is meaner than you.

9. It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

10. You cannot unsay a cruel word.

11. Every path has a few puddles.

12. If you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

13. The best sermons are lived, not preached.

14. Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t going to happen anyway.

15. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

16. Live a good and honorable life, then when you get old you can enjoy it a second time.

17. Don’t mess with something that ain’t bothering you none.

18. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

19. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

20. Sometimes you get; sometimes you get got.

21. The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever see is in your mirror every morning.

22. Always drink upstream from the herd.

23. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

24. Letting the cat out of the bag is a lot easier than putting it back in.

25. If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering someone else’s dog around.

26. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of time and it annoys the pig.

27. It is better to keep quiet and be thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt.

28. Live simply, love generously, speak kindly.

29. Never kick a cowpie on a hot day.

30. There are two ways to argue with a woman; neither one works.

31. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

32. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

33. Never criticize the cook.

34. If you always tell the truth, you never have to try and remember what lie you told. 

35. Try to maintain a positive and thankful attitude.

36. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

37. Give, give, give.